At 16 weeks we took a early gender scan to reveal we are expecting a baby girl due October 24th. She was measuring perfect and we were told she had long legs measuring about a week early.
Justin and I were both thrilled and had already chosen a name for her, Aurora Rain Lovett. We chose to keep her gender a secret until our 20 week scan just to confirm she was still a girl lol. Then have a gender reveal for everyone.
Unfortunately our 20 week appointment did not give us any good news. We were asked if we had the early testing for down syndrome and we told them no we declined because either way we'd love our child and didn't want to worry. After the nurse performed all her measurements and photos the doctor came In and said she needed to take more photos because the nurse couldn't get a good look at her heart.. after a few minutes we were told aurora had fluid behind her neck and under her skin in some areas and her femur was measuring small. They said with these indicators and not being able to get a good view of the heart that something didn't seem right to them and said aurora is showing signs of gentic abnormalities and the most likely two are turners syndrome and down syndrome. The most heart breaking was being told that with turners there was a 10% chance of survival for her.
We were sent to another specialist immediately leaving the ultrasound appointment so her heart could be viewed better and determine the issue.
Meanwhile during all these viewings of laying there looking at our baby girl on the monitor it's clear to see she is alive and has full control of her limbs. She was kicking squirming and even sucking her thumb while we peeked in on her. Her heartbeat was 152 bpm.
The cardiologist finally came in took a few more up close looks at her heart and sat us down and gave us the heartbreaking news.
Aurora was diagnosed with HLSL (Hypoplastic Left Heart Sydrome). Basically when her heart was forming her left ventricle wasn't receiving enough blood so it just didn't completely form . She has her right ventricle working but that means she has one side of her heart trying to pump blood to her entire body. For now she seems to be okay but looks as if her chamber has a lot of pressure and they are worried about a valve closing and in turn will stop pumping the blood compleltely.
There is hope that if our baby girl can hold on and stay strong and make it to delivery the doctors have a temporary fix for her. They would operate on her heart 3 times by the time she is 3-4 years of age. The first operation immediately after birth.This is very scary and super dangerous for her and the success rate for these surgeries vary 70 to 90 percent. There is no permanent fix and most people who do survive require a heart transplant later in life while some do fine with there surgeries from a young age.
I don't know what God has in his plans for our little girl and our lives but I know he has a plan for sure. It's difficult to believe anything can be wrong with your baby when you see her with a strong heartbeat and moving all around. I was crying happy tears watching the monitor seeing her move but sad to hear what her fate could be. Both doctors of course gave us the "abortion" speech and told us at this stage it's an option. However, we can't choose to end any life, if God saw fit to create this beautiful blessing then it is up to him to decide what he chooses for her. Justin nor myself will allow any doctor to take her precious life no matter how bad the odds are for her. I can't seem to grasp or understand though why she would be created to just be taken away but again that is not my call and for all I know she can be that percentage of those who survive and go on to live healthy lives. I have prayed for her in the womb since i found out we were expecting that i need God to give me the strength and everything I need to support this child while she grows inside of me and I vowed to God that she would know the Lord and we would raise her to our best abilities to have a child who loves the Lord.
Right now we are trying to cope and deal with the information as it has been given to us. Of course it's not easy on us or our families. I have prayed and cried with Justin and have had a million questions of why.. what if.. what's the future hold??.. I don't know and neither does he, everyday I'm struggling with my thoughts and emotions but I keep reminding myself and so does Justin, this is not in our control and it's out of our hands. God will get us through this. Its easy for me to give the advice to others "let go and let God" but its hard to actually do it myself during a time like this.. Hope and faith are the only things keeping us going right now but I can ask for everyone reading this please pray! Pray for strength, for our family and for little Aurora. I feel so helpless that I can't help her physically and make it all better. There are no words that will make us feel any better but we will get comfort in knowing everyone is praying and that's simply all we ask. Thank you from our family!
Tealah, Justin and Aurora ..
1 comment:
As I read this "miracle" just kept popping in my head. I'm not sure what God is doing in this with her, but I do know He is strengthening you and wrapping His arms around you!! It's such a blessing to see you leaning on Him during this time! We will be out there soon and hopefully we will be able to spend more time together!! Love you guys, I'll be praying for you all!!
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