Aurora was delivered October 13th at 7:52 am weighing in at 6 lbs and 1oz. She was 18.5 inches long. She was beautiful and came out crying just as we wanted to hear. As they laid her upon my chest, justin had her with his hands holding her there. We were able to spend her first minutes of life bonding and consoling her as she cried I spoke softly and said "hi aurora it's mommy, it's okay baby, you are okay" her cries turned to a whimper and then silence. So calming for a mother but also frightened me so I quit speaking and the cries began again. So I knew I had given her the comfort she needed and she really was okay. Few seconds later they had to take her to the Nicu and allowed Justin to follow. Justin stood by his daughter and watched the ivs be placed, monitor her heart, and begin intubating her, I'm so glad he could be with her for that.
Justin was able to deliver the good news that she came out crying and they had begun their work in the Nicu preparing her for the procedure. The cardiologist gave Justin and I an update and said Aurora was critical and there was no flow between her upper chambers so she had a fully intact atrial septum as seen on my echos previosuly. They said although she's critical she's fighting so we will give her every opportunity and we will proceed and attempt to clear the blockage.
Hours passed as we rested best we could in recovery. (We were told early on no news is good news, means they are trying) Justin got the call to go meet with cardiology downstairs as they discussed their findings. Sadly as Aurora laid in sight he was told the procedure was not successful for many reasons. They had attempted to clear the blockage but every time with it not working and seeing every other issue she had they chose to speak with us and allow us to have Aurora as she passed. She was only receiving a trickle of blood flow into her lungs and they were very undeveloped and sick so as they felt the best for her and us was to allow us to have time with her.
As the news broke to us and our families we all broke down and tried to get our cries out before justin and I had Aurora with us. We Had to be strong and send her good vibes and positivity with her last moments here. I can't fully put into words what the next hours were like for us but rather than the best way to describe it as PEACE.
Aurora was handed to us and she had all ivs and breathing tubes removed so we could bond and speak to her. It was pleasant to capture and focus on every feature her blonde hair just like justin, blue eyes like her dad and cute button nose.. We caressed her face, hands and all over while gently we both spoke (just as we did when she was in the womb) we told her how beautiful she was and mommy and daddy were there with her to bring her comfort. We spoke and spoke and coddled her, played her a song she had heard many times in the womb and tried to make it all normal and peaceful for her. It wasn't to hard actually; Aurora had so much peace about her. It was her face was the most precious with a calm peaceful expression. She wasn't mad, in pain, or upset she had us to make her all the promises in the world and thank her for being so perfect and everything mommy and daddy had ever wanted or needed. We promised her we would never forget her and she'd be a part of everything we do. We asked her to watch over us and keep us strong as she is now with God and some of our closest family members. She gave us 38 weeks and 3 days inside of me and 6 hours on the day she was born. She was and is a miracle. She medically speaking shouldn't have been with us surviving the pregnancy but she had fight in her brought her to the big day and she was able to be here just long enough to give us what we needed so badly. Her life was no mistake. We prayed and prayed for her healing as well did so many friends, family, church families, complete strangers in different states. Healing services and prayer cloths sent to her from all around and we all had the same request for God to heal our baby Aurora. As much as we wanted it to be the ultimate healing and to have Aurora here in our arms now we weren't given that but what we did get was the best thing we needed. Auroras life may have been short and she was a little girl but her soul and spirit along with her journey are huge. Her journey has reach so many people and they opened their hearts to her and prayed for a baby they never met she was so strong and so loved. I think the peace we had in our hearts about her diagnosis allowed us to remain calm and almost stress free during her pregnancy. We passed those good vibes onto Aurora and she was born into a life of positivity where the whole team here at the hospital was ready to receive her and have her as their priority to save. She showed she was worth it because even though the doctors said she was critical condition they took a chance and had to try everything they could to save her. She was perfect and I can't strive that enough but her little heart was not designed properly and no medical intervention could have repaired every issue she had so we all adapted quickly and learned a very valuable lesson yesterday. It's not the length of a life nor the size of the person it's their story and how a tiny human can have such an impact on so many especially her parents. I can promise I wasn't this strong in my faith before Aurora I failed God daily I questioned things I shouldn't and constantly had doubt. Justin had a different relationship and outlook with his faith as well due to things in his past. When we learned of Auroras condition we never doubted her strength and her importance and we chose as her parents to never give up on her. No abortion, no giving up and accepting she wouldn't live. Instead, we turned to God and we have grown so much in our faith and really listening to the Lord and his promises. As I had no doubt he would or could heal our baby girl, we stayed head strong for the next 18 weeks carrying her and knew she was ours and God had us all in his arms. We didn't know his plan exactly but knew we weren't alone and knew Aurora wasn't alone. I never knew I could love another as I do her even in the womb I loved her so much. I pictured her tumbling around and enjoyed every squirm inside and loved when she showed off her moves for Justin when he spoke to her. So when she was placed upon my chest and crying I was in a whole new love. There are memories made that day that can never be taken from us. I saw the look upon Justins face the second he laid eyes on Aurora and he had the look of pure love. I've never seen that look before almost the same look when I Walked down the Isle at our wedding but so pure for his daughter, I'll cherish that moment and as I watched him take Aurora and rock her here in the room nobody told him to nobody said anything to him he felt in his heart he had to rock his daughter. He was such a natural such a good daddy the look he gave her and how gentle he was , ahh what a memory. Aurora had so much peace on her face as she laid in our arms with us, just us 3 bonding spending her last moments together she had a small Suttle smile with nothing but peace. These are the things we will cherish forever these are the things Aurora was able to give us in her short time. She has changed our lives, our hearts, and allowed us to learn a new love and appreciation for life and one another. We now will uphold her name include her in our family,she will be a part of our holidays without any hesitation, she will live as a memory and we will never forget her in any way. What Aurora gave us is clear, it's peace we are strong and changed because of her so when people ask me about her I may cry quite possibly as we'd give anything to have her with us right now but I won't, we won't ever hesitate to speak openly about her. Her life her journey is a miracle in itself and it's a grand one. She had purpose and if I explain our child in any words you will always hear me say peace. She had a perfect soul and I hope all of our friends family and others who may ask or are concerned about Aurora I hope you can speak highly of her for us and tell just how special and strong she was. She will continue to spread peace, love and joy to us and to anyone who asks me about where our child is, they will be listening to all these things. Don't be afraid to share her life that's all we ask I encourage it for she had a grand purpose and as you will see in the photos Im going to share she was a very peaceful baby!
As we continue to grieve we will have our ups and downs that's normal but day by day we hope to grow stronger and love deeper. We ask our family and friends to pray for our family and send peace and comfort our way as its needed! We can't say how truly grateful we are for every single share of her story,every prayer, every single person who shared their story with us and encouraged us sent us special gifts. We feel deeply moved and loved by everyone! Thank you so much with lots of love from the Lovett Family we appreciate each and every person
In loving memory of our daughter Aurora Rain Lovett as she will fly with the butterflies continuing to spread peace and love!!!
Justin, Tealah, and Baby Aurora
